Random Ramblings

I should update this every now and then, shouldn't I?
Well, here we go then! This time, I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey through the inside of my mind.

My rubbish bin must be literate, considering how much I write for it exclusively. (if not labelled otherwise, I made it up, e.g. this one)

"Among people there are more copies than originals" (Pablo Picasso)

Don't you ever swear, it'll fuck up your education! (German proverb, own translation)

"When little boys have learned a new bad word  they are never happy till they have chalked it up on a door. And this also is Literature." (Rudyard Kipling: The Phantom Rickshaw)

"Those who crow out their own name too loud and too often make themselves suspicious of standing on a pile of dung." (Otto Leixner, own translation)

In mathematics, minus multiplied by minus makes plus. Shows that mathematicians don't know first thing about real life.

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." (attributed to Benjamin Disraeli)

Paul's Guide To Academic Language:

Professor: Academic freedom means that you may disagree with everything if you think differently, so please feel free to discuss the topic with me at any time.
Translation: Just you try, you little sods...

Professor: This is a very interesting reading of the text.
Translation: God! What a load of utter rubbish!

Professor: You will not need to learn this by heart for the exam.
Translation: Guess what I'm going to put in the test!

Student: Sorry, but I must prepare for an exam.
Translation: Leave me alone, I want to watch the telly!

Professor: Please fill in the evaluation sheet for this course. Of course, this evaluation is completely anonymous.
Translation: I know your handwritings anyway. All of them.

(to be continued)

Paul's Guide to Labels and User's Manuals:

Label: "Open Here"
Translation: "This package will open anywhere but here, preferrably at the bottom when you least expect it and spilling its contents all over the floor."

Manual: "Do not use this item to ..."
Translation: "... is what said item does best, as a matter of fact. Try for yourself."

(to be continued)

Paul's Guide to Paul

Paul: "I've got an idea!"
Translation: "Better run for cover!"

(to be continued)

"Both on dogs and on people a muzzle is a pathetic display: It is a sign of failure to lead in a convincing manner." (Horst Stern Sterns Bemerkungen über Hunde - own translation)

In the 19th century, many demonstrations in Germany were disguised as folk festivals due to lacking freedom of speech. Today it's often exactly the other way round.

Whenever you see a place where everyone is young and healthy, note that this is not a sign of prosperity - it only means that the old and sick don't survive. (You'll watch commercials with different eyes, if you keep this in mind!)

"Often you can watch something a hundred, a thousand times before really seeing it for the first time." (Christian Morgenstern, own translation)

Laziness can be a sign of intelligence: for example, lazy people like me will more often than not pack their rubbish more efficiently so they won't have to take it out so often.

"You mustn't believe everything people say, but you mustn't believe either that they say it for no reason at all." (Immanuel Kant, own translation)

"Traduttore traditore" (untranslatable Italian proverb, meaning that you can't really translate anything without spoiling it)

     ESTRAGON: That's the idea, let's abuse each other.
     (They turn, move apart, then face each other)
     VLADIMIR: Moron!
     ESTRAGON: Vermin!
     VLADIMIR: Abortion!
     ESTRAGON: Morpion!
     VLADIMIR: Sewer-rat!
     ESTRAGON: Curate!
     VLADIMIR: Cretin!
     ESTRAGON: (with finality) Crrritic!
     VLADIMIR: Oh! (He wilts, vanquished, and turns away)
(Samuel Beckett - Waiting for Godot, Act II)

"Life is senseless without a sense for esnesnon." (Tanja Teubert - no idea who she is; own translation)

Thus ends what is probably my most pointless journal entry to date.
I might find a proper topic to write about next time, but the emphasis is on the might.